Relationship Boosters Blog

My husband and I often recall the day of our wedding and I think we both would agree that it was one of the defining moments in our relationship. The wedding planning was not as stressful as anticipated but it was rather lengthy and time consuming, not to mention our first experience with budgeting as a couple. It was a big event that took a lot of planning and coming together to make it a success and it set the tone for our team mindset. Like many couples, we had a beautiful ceremony with a fun reception to celebrate with [...]

Early in our relationship, while we were dating, a journalist approached and asked if he could write an article about us in the Washington Post.  So we were featured 20 years ago on April 30, 1998  And the article goes… They swear they can spot each other anywhere. Even from inside a subway car at Metro Center, Kia can look out over the teeming crowd and spot Preston. She spots him not because he stands about 6 feet 4 but because of his hair – thick, dark brown and puffing out over his shoulders tonight, not the cornrows he sometimes [...]

We hear so many stories about how relationships fail, and as couples counselors, we know that relationships don’t have to fail, but you have to be willing to put the work in.  I stumbled across this situation from Mr Laksu Stories, and it reminded me of some of the people who came for individual counseling after realizing that they made a terrible mistake by ending their relationship.  I am sharing this story as a reminder to work on your relationship today, and realize that checking out and getting a new mate may not always the best answer. I was married, had [...]

Good communication is a skill that can be developed; however, anyone can make mistakes when the heart is involved. One of the biggest complaints made by couples who come for therapy is, “communication is our problem.”  Is this you?  Well then take a seat and continue reading. A relationship requires “give and take”. This system of giving and receiving becomes most evident when observing a couple’s system for communicating. Going from single to being “hitched” requires you to be in tune with yourself and your significant other.  It is at that point that you should be willing to be open, [...]

Swizz Beatz Demonstrates How to Support Your Spouse ©[Buzzfuss]/123RF.COM Well, Alicia Keys did it.  She went make-up free, and it has stirred up a lot of controversy over the last couple of months.   Alicia felt like she was covering up her true self, and she wanted to be free.  To help people understand her decision,  Alicia made a statement about her journey to self discovery.  She said, “I don’t want to cover up anymore.  Not my face, not my mind, not my soul, not my thoughts, not my dreams, not my struggles, not my emotional growth. Nothing.” There has been a significant amount [...]

Healthy Relationships vs. Unhealthy Relationships Today’s topic is addressing the differences in healthy and unhealthy relationships. A healthy relationship is based on mutual respect, trust, partnership and support. It seeks to be fair when addressing any conflict and seriously takes the other person’s point of view into consideration. This usually plays out in a few key characteristics that are necessary. According to the Duluth Model’s Equality Wheel, a healthy relationship has 9 key elements: Non-Violence; Negotiation & Fairness; Non-Threatening Behavior; Respect; Trust & Support; Honesty & Accountability; Responsible Parenting; Shared Responsibility; and Economic Partnership. During counseling sessions with couples, one [...]

Bringing Back The Good Ol’ Days  Remember the days when your relationship was new and everything was so exciting?  When relationships are new, you may anticipate your next interaction; it may feel like waiting in line for a roller coaster ride! This excitement creates an intense interest to see each other.  There is also a great deal of concern and interest in your partner’s feelings.  When the sparks are flying, there is an increased focus on connecting emotionally.  At this stage in the relationship, you are more likely to center your life around your partner. Many people ask, “What can I do to bring back that [...]

Being engaged and taking that next step toward marriage is one of the most exciting times in life. Many of the engaged couples that I counsel have used terms like: bliss, peace, a high, content, or satisfied to describe the feeling of finally finding “The One” with whom they are committing to spend a lifetime! Since getting married is a major life change, many people make it a priority to seek couples counseling or pre-marital counseling. Couples come to counseling for various reasons. Research has shown that married couples tend to wait six years after a problem arises in the relationship before going to counseling. Naturally, it can [...]

Parenting can sometimes be intense; it is one of the most trying roles that many of us take on in life. Blending a family to include children from your partner’s prior relationship can sometimes add even more of a challenge.  Here are some tips if you are in a blended family system. Set time aside to spend together. Despite the hectic schedules that go along with raising children and making a family work, it is always important for the parenting couple to take care of the intimate relationship.  Whether you choose to go on a date once a week or have [...]

When relationships begin, many couples show their desire for each other in the courting process.  Early in the relationship, showing affection is high on the list.   Over time, this attention to the relationship can be lost.  Flirting or engaging in behavior that shows that you are attracted to someone is a sure relationship booster!  What did you do early in your relationship to flirt with your partner?  How can you bring this flirty behavior back? If you don’t know where to get started, here are some ideas to get you going. Do you recall those times when you would spend [...]