The Impact of Trauma on Your Relationship
Podcast Episode 22
Laura Reagan LSCW-C Trauma Specialist
How Emotional Pain from Childhood Can Cause Problems
Something that happened to you at 5 years old can affect you at age 65; therefore, it is important to recognize that things that occur in childhood, can impact you as an adult. Ultimately, childhood trauma can cause major problems in your intimate relationships. Intimacy requires vulnerability, which can be difficult for individuals who have experienced trauma or have difficulty with trust. Trauma may be impacting your behavior even though you may not be consciously thinking about it.
Examples of Trauma?
- Not having your emotional needs met as a child contributes to trauma. An example could be lack of a caregiver being there to support your needs or your caregiver is unreliable.
- Verbal, physical, or sexual abuse
- Growing up in poverty
- Experiencing community violence
- Separation from a parent: divorce, Jail, or lack of involvement from one parent
- Witnessing parents or guardians drinking or using substances
- Witnessing domestic violence: Seeing your parents yelling and screaming at each other or physically fighting. This can contribute to feeling the need to protect one parent.
How do Traumatic experiences impact relationships?
- The partner who experienced the trauma may experience an inability to express his or her needs.
- Difficulty with trust
- Not being able to have deep conversations
- Lack of interest in sex
- Decisions related to child rearing practices can be influenced by past traumatic experiences.
Methods to Work Through Trauma?
- Couples Counseling
- Individual Counseling for both people in the relationship.
Do not assume that your partner is over past trauma just because he or she is not talking about it. Trauma is something that should not be ignored.
Anything can be repaired in a relationship, but you need to do the work.
If you would like to work with Laura Reagan LCSW-C, you can reach her by following the link below.
Building Your Extraordinary Relationship: As relationship counselors and coaches, we have packages to help you improve your relationship. If your relationship is in need of a jump start or relationship repair, contact us and we will be glad to help with boosting your relationship.
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